I've started reading some of my old books again; books that I put down ages ago. Two of these are STORY by Robert Mckee and Stanislavski's THE ACTOR PREPARES. I want to get into the role of the actor I should be - focussed, determined and hard working. I've become far too lazy of late, and I don't like it one bit.
I've always meant to go to the gym and start getting into an exercise routine. Ha! Like that ever happened. When it comes down to HAVING the time to go do these things I just can't be arsed or am not in the mood for it. For one thing it means doing it on my own, which is a daunting task because I'm never confident enough by myself. I always tend to just give up, as if there's no point in doing it. What I need is someone to tag along for encouragement and dual energy. Like I'm going to find someone like that here!
The best I can do is force myself to do it. But so far, I'm enjoying reading these books a chapter at a time; a nice steady pace to work at and take in information. I curse my dyslexia most of the time - it makes my attension span go out the window in 20 seconds flat. That's all I remember of university - the daydreaming in lectures because the topics went right over my head. A waste of time and money? Maybe. But it also gave me some standard or level to reach for.
I've been thinking of going back to College to redo drama again. Just so that I can get back into the feel of it and tackle it with this whole new understanding that I gained at University. It's only now that I'm reading the books that I start to understand them. I've always been a slow developer. I hate that fact. If I hit something that's difficult to understand or just far too technical, my brain just switches off and goes to sleep. It sees a brick walls and thinks "Oh well. Can't go any further, yet." I don't want to be like that. I want to get on in life.
If I try to be more determined, then hopefully things will improve.
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