Unrequitted Love

Have you ever fallen in love with someone who was your friend and had to turn and crush those feelings because they don't feel the same way? ?They just like you like a friend, like a brother. Everytime.

It's not easy to drop. You can't just erase the feelings you have for someone, though I wish it were not so.

You think about them every day. You long for them, just to be with them, just for them to hold you and you hold them. It's painful. It hurts. It's like being a vampire who can never drink blood again. It's depressing and heartbreaking.

But the friendship is worth the sacrifice.

I will get through this

Truth, worry and torture

Some time ago, I told someone special that I had a crush on them - I said it to their face, a few minutes before we had to say goodbye. Afterwards, I was scared shitless because I didn't know what they thought of it. I had my laptop on me at the time and I wrote my thoughts down. They turned into some sort of poetic thing. No idea why. But anyway, this is what I wrote.


Afraid, contented. Happy, demented.
I did it. I told them I had a crush on them.
What am I doing? What am I going to do?
I’ve probably scared them off.
Backed away, turned around, legged it.
At least I told the truth. I can’t be sorry for that.
But what happens now? Where does time go?
What angels and demons have I just unleashed?
I am scared, and yet I feel this was meant to be.
The bonds are still there, they have not been broken.
Could this be the start of brand new?
A new chapter.

I’ve hurt their feelings, I know I have.
They’ll never look at me again.
The same – the same as before.
Just as it was with her, long ago.
Yet still so recent.
I’ve been here before. Never thought I’d return.
Now fate decides the future.
Do I go up? Do I go down?
Or will things remain the same forever?

It’s the unknown. That’s what scares me.
A sense of impending disaster.
Will everything I know just fall apart?
Everyone I know, will they leave me alone?
I doubt it. And I hope what I doubt.
Told them, didn’t I.
I said those words and broke down the barrier.
Now life is hell without you.
Never done this before. But you have to start somewhere, don’t you?
Leave it to time to sort things out.
Whatever happens, happens. And time will wash all things away.

Did I do good?
…we shall see.